Waiting for God to open a window.....

What do you do when the one thing that you had your heart set on, that was the direction that you thought that God wanted for your life, comes back as a BIG FAT (but eloquently worded) NO?
You cry, chuck a fit at God, run your fingers through your hair (a lot), rip up the envelope and chuck it all over the kitchen floor, then sit down to write a blog about it... of course.

(I should explain. About a month ago I applied for a for a summit fellowship position at Crusaders and I got the rejection letter in the mail today.)

My question is: What now? I've been pursuing this avenue for two years now, passionately believing that it was how God wanted me to serve him. It now is BLINDINGLY clear to me that God wants me to do something else. The question is what? I had many dreams upon leaving high school which I abandoned because I thought God wanted me to do this, but now it is clear he has other plans.

I know that God will never leave me and that I have to keep trusting in him. But the not knowing is the hardest thing.

God's got it all under control.

I do not know what will happen in the future but I know the guy who holds my future in his hands.

100 things

Awhile ago (for some reason, I can't remember what) I typed '100 things' into google. Apparently there is a challenge to live with only 100 things. I think the point is to really think about the things that you own and to fight consumerism. It got me thinking if I could only have 100 of my possesions what would have to go? what would be easy and what would be hard would i choose sentimatality over praticality.
Let's give this a try.
1. Bible
2. Journal
3. Pen
4. bed
5. Bottom sheet
6. quilt
7. Pillow
8. undies
9. Undies
10. Socks
11. Socks
12. T-shirt
13. T-shirt
14. Bra
15. Bra
16. Jumper
17. Jacket
18. Jeans
19. Hair tie
20. soap
21. Towel
22. shorts
23. shirt
24. dress
25. ring
26. ring
27. necklace
28. chap stick
29. laptop

30. Car
31. Phone
32. BF boots
33. BF jacket
34. BF gloves
35. BF helmet
36. BF pants
37. BF goggles
38. Bf socks
39. leotard
40. tights
41. black dance pants
42. ballet shoes
43. point shoes
44. bobby pins
45. Ballet flats
46. wallet
47. driver's licence
48. converse
49. ballet flats
50. glass rose
52. pair earrings
53. pair earrings
54. pair earrings
55. necklace
56. necklace
57. necklace
58. Pandora bracelet
59. swimmers
60. covertable dress
61. Watch
62. Crocheted blanket
63. mexican poncho
64. camp blanket
65. skinny jeans
66. belt
67. dress
68. shorts
69. alarm
70. lamp
71. photo frame
72 .photo frame
73. photo frame
74. scrapbook
75. camera
76. camera charger
77. camera cable
78. ATM card
79. cutlery set
80. phone charger
81. book
82. book
83. book
84. book
85. book
86. book
87. book
88. book
89. book
90. book
91. hand bag
92. head phones
93. mouse
94. USB
95. TV
96. DVD player
97. HSC Art project
98. melted crayon art
99. Thongs
100. tooth brush

OK so I started off practically, but got a little sentimental. I probably forgot many things, but this was an interesting exercise.

Craft

MORE craft.
I'm going to the beach tomorrow to collect more sea glass. To try some new craft ideas.
:D

Questions, Questions, Questions!

I'm feeling a little reminiscent of the days of MySpace quizzes.

A - Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Yes once. When I was in year 5, my mum and I were waiting to turn right into our driveway and some one (a p plater on their phone!) ran up the back of us, wrote the car off, but thankfully no one was hurt.

02. Do you have a lot of scars?
A couple but not "a lot"
03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone?
No.

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake?
Emotionally yes. I still feel awful about it.
05. Have you ever had stitches? Where?
No

B - Beauty
06. Do you consider yourself beautiful?
I guess.

07. Are you self conscious of how you look?
No

08. Do you put on a lot of makeup?
No.

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery?
No.
10. What do you think makes a person beautiful?
Their heart, their motivations etc




C - Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for?
Don't remember. How ever long it took me to clean my room. When I was growing up every holiday my parents would ground me until my room was clean.
12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion?
Keep it!

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people?
Not as often as I should, I can be pretty selfish sometime... :(

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you?
hmmm not sure, cutting me out of their life..

15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end?

Youthworks

D - Dealing
16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them?
Cold shoulder, Snap, Just generally be a bitch

17. Name a time when you had to be strong.
Hmm IDK

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home?
No generally my home life has been very happy I'm very blessed in that way.

19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react?
IDK
20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it.
My aunt and grandfather and I was too young I guess to have it really hit me as to what was  happening.

E - Experience
21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs?
Several

22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all?
No

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?
Yes

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)?
Defiantly not.

25. How old do you act?
Depends on whom I'm around

F - Family
26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why?
Not that I intentionally don't speak to there are a couple I avoid though.

27. If you had to choose, family or friends?
I don't like this question

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything?
No

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them?
Yes a sister, no.

30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members?
Not that often once in a while

G - Growing
31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were?
Short , very and a little taller

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that?
Physically no hahaha I stopped getting taller about 6 years ago. Spiritually and emotionally hell yes.
33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish?
The former (though sometimes I can get a little childish with certain people.)

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50?
Yes very.
35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn?
Always!

H - Hope

36. Love - real or not?
REAL
37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist?
Mostly an optimist

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?
Everything happens for a reason, because God has a plan.

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?
Yes if you believe in God you go to heaven.

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying?

God, Scottie, Sofia, friends, family, Fridge girls

I - Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness?
Sometimes, but not constantly.
42. Do you have any type of disease or disability?
No
43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex?
Every relationship is hard but they are worth it.
44. Do you think that you are alone in this world?
No

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?
Every once and a while, when I'm feeling down.

J - Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke)
The moving red star.
47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around?
A bit of both.
48. Do you cry when you laugh hard?
Really hard, yes.
49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day!
That's gold.
50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class?
Nah not really I was pretty sneaky about it, I kind of flew under the radar.

K - Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends?
Is this a trick question?
52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average?
I think I'm reasonably smart. Not super smart but above average.
53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever?
I don't know, I got all seventys in my HSC.
54. What was your last average?
We don't do that in Australia.
 55. What was your favorite Subject in school?
Art

L – Love
56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before?
I don't really like the term "in love" but there is a very special boy in my life and I love him very much.
57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)?
Yeah I'm very blessed.
58. Is love worth it?
Always
59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months?
Yes! It's one of my pet peeves.
60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word?
Neither extreme, I think it give love its due weight.

M – Money
61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round?
No, God makes the world go around. But I guess in secular society money takes a huge role/focus in people's lives.
62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money?
IDK
63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to?
No
64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with?
Can I have both? haha Defs the perfect person.
65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you?
Ahh maybey a 4?

N – Naughty
66. Are you a virgin?
Yes
67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with?
Not ok.
68. I didn't like this question
69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more?
Erase
70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both!
Nice


O – Openness
71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone?
Hahahaha a long time.
72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone?
Time
73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason?
No
74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually?
When I'm married to them....
75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them?
Depends on whom.

P – Positive
76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times?
Yes twice, I think I'd probably want to erase it because of the way that is ended, so badly kind of erased all memories of the good times....
77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all?
Idealistically yes, realistically no.
78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be?
Optimistic
79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything?
Yes, it is sometimes really hard to find,
80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please exlain what it was:
Possibly but I can't recall.

Q – Questions
81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself?
Figure it out myself...
82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation?
Yes, too many to list
83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president* one question, what would it be?
Yes
Prime Minister* I can't really think of anything super important. But "Did you really think that kicking out the previous prime minister would win you popular opinion? The only reason you're still IN office is that you're the LESSER of two evils!" (IMHO)
84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go?
I guess it depends of what they did.
85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to?
Who killed JFK?

R – Respect
86. How do you show respect?
IDK?   
87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them?
Lie, cheat, steal, their behavior, etc
88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures?
Yes
89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment?
Depends on what I do...
90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness?
I try to kill them with kindness, but I guess it would depends on what they did.

S – School
91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?
I finished school two year ago.
92. When will you graduate high school/college?
High school: 2010
93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?
I wanted to do Photography at Raffles but that went out the window.. I know well IDK...
94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it?
I liked it
95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school?
No, but I was seriously considering dropping out in year ten.

T – Temptation
96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay?
Yeah..
97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it?
Yes, Yes.
98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it?
No and I never would
99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing?
No
100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed?
 I try to stand up to temptation, but sometimes it get the better of me.

U – Unique
102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it?
No
103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces?
I'm an op shopper, so most of my clothes are unique, and I wearwhat ever I want, I dress for comfort not style.
104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex?
No
105. What makes you different from people your age?
I'm a christian, I don't smoke or have casual sex... I like shooting quad biking and camping, I drive a ute, I want to live in the country, I can go lengths of time without technology.

V – Value
106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room?
I have no idea
107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people?
Others',  Yes
108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you?
My bible. :)
109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab?
Hard drive (because it has all my photos)
110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future?
Um I don't know...?

W – Wishes
111. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
For all people to come to Christ.
To have a never ending supply of money.
To have a secure job and heading for the future.
112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones?
Loved ones
113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them?
No.
114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? I don't believe in wishes...
115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? Yes wishing is a waste of time because God is in control. Prayer however, is not. :)

Y – You
121. Are you more independent or social?
Independent.
122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it?
Cruelty
123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things?
Yes, if I tried.
124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life?
I think that it's a balance.
125. Do you think people are generally good?
No.

Z – Zest
126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not?
Depends on the day.
127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one?
No
128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it?
Depends on what the change is...
129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people?
Yes
130. What is the most motivational thing in the world?
God

Euthanasia - animals and people.

Euthanasia/putting animals down.
Let me say before I start this post that I haven't decided what my opinion on euthanasia is. It's not something that I have put a lot of thought into. But I will post about is sometime soon (I hope).
Anyway so this thought occured to me in bible study this week that I'd thought I'd put out there. So when animals are really sick/dying we put them down to put them out of their missary (sorry to put that so coldly). They have no idea what's going on but we make the best decition for them, because we care about and love them and want what's best for them etc. So when it comes to dr assissted suicide when the person does know what is going on and is in full control of their circumstances why is that frowned upon? I know that there a lot of other contributing factors and obvioulsy there is a lot I don't know about this and need to look up. Just a thought I had that I wanted to share. Espeically implications there are as a Christian when forming my views about these things.

More craft

More of my recent crafts :)