Intellect vs emotion

Although I don't need to justify my thoughts on my own blog, I feel I must preface this post with a couple of things:
1. No I do not hate men.
2. I know and except the created order and know that God made it that way for a reason.
3. This is something that I struggle with a lot, I don't need to be converted to the right way of thinking about it. This is just me airing my thoughts.
4. By all means chat to me about this I would love to hear your thoughts.

(In reading over this I realised that I jump from the context of a couple, to the church in general. I know these are two separate scenarios, but I hope you get the idea.)

I've been struggling lately about women and the church and submission, I mean more so than usual. I have struggled with this concept for some time and I thought I had dealt with it but it's back with a vengeance.

Intellectually I understand the concept, but emotionally I resent it. Why should I as a 21st century women have to submit to someone simply because they were born with a penis? (please excuse my crassness but the fact stands...)

Within my personal context  there are men of my close acquaintance whose leadership I would happily submit to (and do), not because they are men, but because they happen to be men, whom I respect and admire. Whom I know and they know me. I know that they have my best interest at heart and a genuinely trying to look after me, and the women in their lives. I know all that men in Christian circles are all supposed to do this, it's right, it's biblical. But to me they are strangers, why should I submit to them simply because they happen to be men?

I guess what irritates me about this is, when men act entitled in the area of submission "I man, you woman, therefore you must submit to me."

An acquaintance of mine once said yes I expect my girl friend to submit to me, but it is my obligation to be worthy of that and if I am not leading her in a godly way then you should not be obligated to submit to me.

It is my belief that this is a two way street. We teach our girls to be gentle, kind, submissive, but what a we teaching our men? (genuine question idk I'm not allowed in on the men's only talks)

And what about outside the church? Should we implement this men first leadership thing in all areas of society?
This came up the other night while I was at a friend's house playing the card game emperor - scum and when we finished the three women happened to be the ones that were they three emperors, the men folk there seemed to subtly imply that there was something wrong with this. They started to harp on about created order, I completely disagree. women should absolutely be permitted in positions of leadership/authority in government. I am unconvinced that the 'rules' for want of a better word of the church should carry over to the secular government. It's the entitlement thing they assume leadership as a right of passage rather than a burden and a privilege.

Please allowed me to make this quite clear - I have nothing against these men at all nor am I intending to attack them in any way, this is just me voicing my thoughts and opinions (aka venting but trying to be eloquent and diplomatic - although frequently it comes out as a bit of a whinge.)

I feel we need to open the conversation more to have a cross gender discussion. instead of the contestant segregation.

The 'women's' talks talk about submission and modesty and not letting our brothers stumble but the way we act, dress, talk, etc

What are our young men taught?
(seriously someone answer this..) 
My hope is that they discuss similar - how to act to love their sisters and to be 'worthy' of submission to be gentle and humble.

Obviously we are designed to complement each other so lets open the conversation to how to support each other.

What are our young men discussing where the women aren't not there?
I for one am sick and tired of being told to be submissive and dress modestly and be a good Christian women (pretty much everything I am not) when I'm not hearing from the other side that men should be worthy (worthy is not the word I want but I can't quite think of the word that I want here) of these things ? I mean I know that we are all called to obedience. This is the way that God planed for men and women to work together. Together being the operative word. 

We are constantly being told and reminded of how to serve each other but are we aware of our own weaknesses in order to let the other serve us. Ladies are we giving our brothers opportunities to serve us?

I think ultimaly this is something thing that I struggle with and that I constantly wrestle with. I need to remember that I am submitting to God's plan when I submit to men. That my heavenly  father knows what is best for me. He is huge and I am tiny. Me having a whinge about that fact that I was born an woman and therefore having to submit to men is like an act shaking it's fist at God and saying "Why did you make me so?" You are an ant you have a role and a purpose - that doesn't make you an less significant to God. I have a role and a purpose, I guess I'm just struggling to figure out what that is.

Credit where Credit's due

I am a photographer. I love being a photographer. There are so many things that I love about being a photographer. 

There is one thing that I dread more than anything in the world though, is the responses that I get from  people (either to actually seeing some of my work, or to when I tell them I'm a photographer.) I've had some shockers lately. I have come to the conclusion (/ I choose to believe) that people just don't realise just how insulting the things they say are.

I displayed some of my work at a stall my friend and I had a recently to raise money for our trip to Nepal. I expect people to comment on my work, whether questions or criticisms, and that's okay, great even, but there is always one, one person who says something that I' sure is meant to be a compliment, but is actually really insulting. 

And this time the gentleman in question was admiring one of my macro water drop photos (one that I'm actually really proud of) and he said "You must have a really nice camera!"

*giant internal cringe*

But I calmly (if rather curtly) replied "It's not about the camera."

He was shocked "It isn't?!"

*sigh* 

Okay let me explain why this is insulting:

1) First and for most: No actually I do not have "a really good camera" I have a Nikon D80, with a cropped sensor, 10 mega pixels, it came out in 2008 which is old when you're talk dslrs and the ISO quality leaves a lot to be desired! (Please understand that I am not saying these things to complain about my camera! Quite the opposite actually, it doesn't matter what camera you have, see point two.)

2) I really really cannot stress this enough! It is not about what kind of camera. As my lecture put it "the camera is just a devise for capturing light." There is a quote that sums up my feeling about this perfectly "The single most important component of the camera is the 12 inches behind it" Ansel Adams. Any skilled photographer will be able to pick up any camera and make great image with it.

3) Note there that I said 'skilled'. Yes being a photographer is a skill. When you say you must have a really nice camera" completely negates my skill as a photographer. It negates my skill, my passion, my training and credits a (essentially) a lump of metal and glass and that is infuriating! 

There is a saying that a bad tradesman blames his tools, but on the flip side a good tradesman doesn't credit them. A builder doesn't say to someone admiring the house they built "I owe it all to the top of the range (insert brand name here) hammers that I have, that how I built the house" No! That's ridiculous! 

Photography is about so much more than picking up the top of the line camera and pressing the shutter. 
When you credit my camera instead of me you are saying that the images that I make are just a fluke. You are saying that anybody can be a photographer (which some many people are inclined to believe but is not the case.) You say that with the right tools any body can do that. 

I can pick up a hammer and nail some wood but that doesn't make me a builder.

A camera is a camera.
It is the tool of my trade that is all.

Crochet Blanket

 It was a project nearly 18 months in the making, It was a labor of love (and more often HATE), But I finally finished my blanket!